31 is almost here...

Yep, it sure is. Now I'm not just 30, I'm "IN" my 30's. Pretty scary stuff considering I still can't balance my checkbook and I wear slippers with monkeys sewn onto them.

And I have to say, in all honesty, 30 was not my best year. I left my job, got another job, lost that job, and got yet another job. All the while being ping-ponged onto and off of unemployment, a first for me. I am amazed that people are comfortable to live on the government's dime. I mean, they're unreliable and its boring to sit home all day. I mean, sure it was cool for a week or 5, but after 2 months, I was ready to volunteer at a nursing home or something equally icky.

But do not worry fair reader -- I did not volunteer!! Instead, I just drove everyone around me crazy complaining that I had nothing to do and applied for every job from Starbucks to Legislative Director of a major University in Washington DC to some sketchy advertisement on careerbuilder.com described only as: "WANTED: receptionist for 2 males, me and co-business owner in sales. must be able to work and answer phone."

I also managed to stop working out and go back to eating carbs. God give me strength. Because once I start eating wonder bread and ravioli, its all over for me and my waistline.

Finally, I did find a job. It's an 80 mile long commute (ONE WAY), but it pays the bills. Of course, it would pay more of the bills if I didn't spend every last dime on gas. But at least I'm not sitting around watching 90210 reruns and flipping forlornly through a Crate and Barrel catalogue for hours at a time.

And, as always, I've come to a few conclusions the past year. Ones that I think you'll be surprised to hear coming from me, considering how annoyingly miserable I've been for months at a time...

1. Life isn't easy. I never thought MY life was a walk in the park, but I don't think I realized how tough things can get. And I have little doubt that things can get even harder than they were. But getting up everyday and putting on a brave face when things are falling apart around you is difficult. Which leads me to one conclusion I came to last year and never followed through with:I will seriously drop the dead weight around me. I mean, I wasn't a peach, but some of the people I know that make their life sound awful when its not have some real growing to do.

2. Working a job you're overqualified for is overrated. Don't do it. No matter how bad the situation is, it is NOT in your best interests to minimize your potential and end up typing dictation chained to a desk with no Internet access. At 30 years old, halfway through my master's degree, I was told I just couldn't cut it after getting a job as some douche-bag's secretary, essentially organizing his bookcase and alphabetizing files. He said he thought it just wasn't a "good fit for me". I guess he wanted a toaster as his assistant.

3. No matter how hard you try to sabotage good stuff, it somehow ends being okay. I mean, I was like a bull in a china shop with my relationships there for a while. Some ended (and they should've WAY before then) and some stayed the same. Some even improved, shocking as it is. But most of all, I learned something about myself. I'm not sure what it was now because someone just walked into my office with pizza and all I can think about is my stomach, but I'm sure its really cool...

4. The best thing for me to do when I'm frustrated or angry or excited to to write it down in a blog that no one reads. Its very cathartic and its saves my family and friends from having to hear me rant about shit they couldn't care less about. I don't really care that no one's interested in what I'm saying except the imaginary Internet-reading public. At least I'm not trying to run people off the road anymore.

5. Shopping at Ikea is not a good idea when you're jobless and on a fixed income. Things may seem super cheap, but when you throw 12 of them in your cart, it adds up quickly.

So, here I am. 31 years old and ready for the next phase in my life. And I'm not sure AT ALL what that next phase is. But I'm pretty sure it won't involve programming my boss' cell phone or arguing with a 40 year old receptionist that faxing something does not take 15 minutes and 3 people to do.